Hey, you there.
Yup. You. If you're reading my words it's because you found the link to it through my youtube or my website. That means you have a soft spot for one of the sensual things I do. Which ever one, no matter, I so thoroughly enjoy them all. Know what I don't enjoy? Dickweeds.
We are a community. We've used the internet to build up a place where we can feel accepted and share our passions that are so beautiful and sensual to us, but sometimes perceived otherwise by the world at large. I draw so much strength from all of you. The compassion I see, even between subscribers in the comments section is amazing. This is our little escape. That we share. That we love.
But be weary loves. There are assholes among us. What I do is art to me. I work at what I do. I'm proud of what I do. SO, with that in mind I'd like to tell you about the kind of person that ruins it for other people. It's the internet equivalent of a fat little piggy eating up all the birthday cake so that those who waited so patiently don't get their fair share. I'm an open book. I say that all the time. I trust you. You reading this. Because you understand a part of my life and I understand a part of your's through a common passion. But, when that trust is broken it hurts more than me.
Someone ordered up some gifts for me for the smoking videos I provide. We got on very well. A week into talking he proceeded to cancel all the gifts and remove himself from my contacts. Here's the thing. Just because I work on the internet and do my art online doesn't mean that what he did isn't just flat out stealing. He stole. My time. My money, through the cigarettes I smoked and now he's gone and ruined that for everyone. I'll still have a wishlist, and appreciate any token I receive. But as payment that option is gone.
What makes me mad is society at large alienates us already. Isolates us already. Why in the actual f
would you make a conscious effort to hurt people who understand you and accept you for who you truly are? He goes to work every day and hides who he is. He sneaks things by his housemates. And there I was, accepting and inviting and that's the person you choose to be an asshole too? Not all the people that make you feel ashamed. Not all the people who've teased you or ask you questions that make you uncomfortable. You stole from the person that was genuinely proud of a passion you carry.
Thumbs. Up.
I know it's tempting sometimes to do something similar. It's the internet. It's easy to do. Just think. Every time that happens there's another girl behind it just like me.
I don't want this person to have the self satisfaction of thinking he's gone and hurt my feelings, it's actually quite the opposite. I feel genuinely sorry for him and pity him. Because he won't ever get to live the life he dreams of. Not even online. Burning bridges is a dangerous business. Soon all the girls won't work with you and no one around, besides those you pay, will keep your company during those times you ever truly feel like yourself. I'm going to take the hit, it's my fault too for trusting. I lost those collective hours. But, at least I was having a smoke. Between that and knowing that the wave you're riding for 'getting something for nothing' is only going to take you so far evens it out for me.
The next time this guys lonely and does this he'll feel high again for a while. But that's no way to live. Let's just all be nice to each other? The world's hard enough on people with fetishes, stealing from each other is just the silliest thing I've ever heard.
As for me, I've got the Beatles on (Revolver) and I'm gonna go ahead with my day and talk to all the people I've met that are wonderful. It's just sad. All these perfect people and one can ruin a whole aspect for everyone. Selfish and stupid.
Coffee mug at the ready... Cig lit.. comfy slippers... yeah. I'm ready to hit reset.
To all those who've been wonderful to me, thank you. You darlings are my heros and I'm grateful beyond words.
Go do something that makes you happy!
No comments:
Post a Comment