DON'T WANT THE BACK STORY? SKIP TO "THE GOOD NEWS" BELOW!
Oh my goodness hi! It's been forever and then a little since I've last done anything and as much as it was eating at me for a while I'm feeling great now, because I'm ready to hit the ground running! The last few weeks have been especially strange for me, emotional and physical. My hiatus started thanks to a super fun round of heat exhaustion (think Sleepy the Dwarf.. or maybe Dopey..). While reeling from it things with my family really spiraled out of control and as much as I always try to be the mature 'adult' in a situation when said situation involves your parent it gets a little more complicated. You'll always want to be the mature adult in the eyes of your peers, but when dealing with your mother it's hard not to let tendencies of a child, their child, show up. Not that I've acted immaturely, just that everything I do is affected by the fact that this is my mom, and as her child I am compelled to treat her differently.
As a family we've delt with her lying and drug use for years with a polite tongue and a fragile demeanor, but things really came to a head this summer. I had to put aside my work online and step in to a temporary role as the guardian for my younger brother (18). During his stay here we discussed his future and who had his best interests in mind. He decided to live with my Dad from here on out, a wonderful environment, and a loving one. The last few weeks have been dedicated to the intricate legalities of the matter and the delicate matter of providing love and support to him for the coming time. My mother doesn't deal with this sort of thing well and goes on the defensive immediately. Luckily for my brother she focuses her anger on me, she won't do it to him yet, she'll preserve the hope of winning him back. Over the last while I've spend a great deal of time with my brother keeping his resolve strong. She guilts him, reminding him that "now that our internet is off it'll be harder for momma to get a hold of you, but I love you sweetie." That's about where I come in and discredit the blatant attempt of manipulation.
THE GOOD NEWS
I'm back. The heat is finally starting to subside, I never feel more comfortable than in the cooler months. (Or more sensual I might add) I'm so ready for this next season, I have the best feeling about it. I would also like to announce the excited news that I've started to share who I really am with the people closer to me in life. Family, friends, the like. It feels SO amazing. Getting to share my harmless and relentless passion as a part of my true self with the people I most care for is one of the greatest experiences I've ever had.
I can't wait to show everyone what I have in store now. This cooler weather is bringing me back to life. I started camming as the fall started. Join my first site in October, so sometime in September will be my unofficial 1st camaversary! My official will be celebrated in October. I'm ready for fun. I'm ready to dive in. I'm dying to get back to the highlight of my day. I'm so thankful to have found this wonderful way of expressing my true self. I would buckle up for this fall and winter, I'm just full to bursting with new ideas and a new resolve to never hold back.
I love the people who have supported this adventure into becomming the fullest and realist version of myself. My life is fuller and holds more joy.
Let me recipricate with better quality videos. More frequent uploads. More detailed (and perhaps exotic) blog posts. And my promise to be the real me, the whole me and nothing but the me so help me... me.
I'm about to shed a new layer in the growing complexity of my sensuality and sexuality, come with me and watch new blooms?
XoXo,
Maddie
Thank you darling so very much for the messages while I've been absent. The feeling that people genuinely care about my well being and my art and work means more to me than I can say. You, dears, are astounding and I appreciate you deeply.
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